On the Difficulty of Arriving – and a Dissenting Voice

Katharina Schmejkal walked the Camino Francés on a bit of a whim and was on the road for almost two months – beyond Santiago to Fisterra and Muxía. Three months later she writes about how hard she is finding it to arrive back home. Below, pilgrim Jürgen Schwalbe replies with a completely different experience.

Three months ago I walked the Camino Francés on a bit of a whim and was on the road for just under two months.

I had absolutely no idea what was in store for me. But somehow I knew I needed a break from my everyday life.

So I got myself a rucksack, hiking boots and the necessary gear. I left my phone at home, got myself a new number and set off.

One step after another

In the Pyrenees I kept thinking: one step after another. Every mountain comes to an end at some point.

After a few days I found my own rhythm. On the Way I met incredibly wonderful people.

At first I was very afraid of being alone. But actually that never happened. There was always someone around, and at the same time I also learned to be alone now and then. I think you know what I mean.

The days went by so quickly.

On some days I didn't want to take a single step, and then there were moments that were simply indescribable. Days when I had goosebumps all over from the view, or had experienced something that was totally unexpected.

I was incredibly happy whenever I ran into people again – people I had perhaps talked to for 5 minutes. And yet everything felt so familiar. You fell into each other's arms and were simply happy.

Not ready for Santiago

One day after another went by, and I got quite a shock when it was "only" 240 km to Santiago.

From then on I walked shorter stages each day.

I stayed several nights in Monte do Gozo so as not to arrive in Santiago.

And then I arrived and couldn't grasp it.

I think at that point I simply wasn't ready yet.

I didn't have the feeling of having arrived.

So I went on to Fisterra. There I watched the sunset at the cape, and I still didn't feel that the Way ended there.

And so I walked to Muxía. There, too, I watched the sunset in the evening.

And at last I had arrived.

It was an incredible feeling. I felt freer than ever before in my life. Everything seemed so simple. And I thought it was now all right to go back home.

Back home

I booked a flight and headed back home.

Barely had I arrived when I fell apart. Everything seemed so foreign to me. Everyone had their everyday lives and I just couldn't find my place.

It was as if I were walking beside myself. I felt incredibly lonely, even though my family was all around me.

I was incredibly sensitive and felt very fragile.

A few days later I drove a few hundred km to my own flat and tried to find my own everyday life again there.

By now I've got it a little under control (if you can put it that way), or rather I've learned to listen to my body, or at least I'm trying to more and more. But still, something is missing.

For one thing, someone who has also walked one of the Ways and might understand that it simply changes you, even though you can't explain what happened there.

And for another, I have an incredible longing to travel and would actually like to set off again right away.

I would never have thought it could change you so much or stay with you for so long. Before, I thought I'd "just" walk the Way, and I wasn't aware of what the consequences would be. Suddenly I see the world with different eyes and pay attention to completely different things/situations.

Maybe someone here feels similar to me and would like to talk about it a little.

I'm curious to hear about your experiences.

I have the feeling that the Camino was really only the beginning and that things only really get going afterwards. Or not?

This evening I finally finished my collage of memories from the Camino. I actually only wanted to post the collage on Facebook quickly, and then it all just came pouring out…

Best wishes!

Katharina Schmejkal

The other experience: Jürgen's reply

And there are other experiences too. Pilgrim Jürgen Schwalbe sent us the following reply to this article:

Hello Peter,

I read the article about the difficulty of arriving. That doesn't apply to me, and I can't relate to it either.

I haven't walked the whole Way yet; I'm planning to complete it next year. So far I've mostly had such positive experiences, and they stayed with me throughout my walk. One thing I'd like to highlight: when I arrived in Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port, I did call my wife to let her know I'd arrived safely. After that, at first I couldn't imagine phoning her every day. But it was exactly those daily phone calls that I then came to long for and look forward to. And it was incredibly reassuring that there was someone back in Germany thinking of me and, if need be, suffering along with me.

One of several intuitions told me to break off the walk early, even though that wouldn't necessarily have been required. I followed this intuition. Once I was home, I didn't need any time to readjust – why would I? Even the cat was somehow happy that I was back, though you couldn't necessarily have expected that of her. In hindsight it turned out that this intuition to return early was exactly right. So I'll be continuing my walk in the autumn.

Everyone has their own feelings, but I set off as a happy person and arrived back home as one, with lots of great experiences and enriched by a number of intuitions I had along the way – but nonetheless happy to have walked this Way and to be back home.

Perhaps you could publish this contribution as well, since it shows a completely different picture. I haven't become a different person because I walked part of the Camino, which I want to complete next year at the latest. Anything else would also give me a lot to think about.

Best wishes, Jürgen

The route in Camino Ninja

You'll find Katharina's Way with stages, map and accommodation in Camino Ninja: the Camino Francés and the extension from Santiago via Fisterra to Muxía, the Camiño a Fisterra-Muxía.