My Second Camino: 900 Kilometres to the End of the World

Ten years after the first Camino, it was time to set off again: alone, 900 kilometres on foot to Fisterra, to the "end of the world". Ten weeks after arriving, this account looks back – not at stages, but at what the Way stirred up inside.

Ten weeks ago my journey ended in Fisterra … I had reached the "end of the world" and with it the goal of my Camino … 900 km … on foot … the Way literally grew beneath my feet.

At the start of this adventure I set off alone, following an inner call, hopeful, curious, ready.

I had no idea what would happen or which lessons, experiences and encounters the Way would ultimately reveal to me.

But of one thing I was absolutely sure: NOW is exactly the right time to set out on the Way once more.

Ten years after the first Way

Ten years ago I set out on the Camino for the first time, full of longing … my wish … to arrive somewhere … for my life was lacking direction. This time, the wish for completion … and to arrive at myself.

So much is still so alive in me that I can hardly put it into words and describe it truthfully. Back home, I felt incredibly grateful, deeply moved, fulfilled and at the same time completely lost.

I wasn't able to write one of my typical travel reports, however much I wished to capture everything I had experienced in writing.

But I soon came to feel how deeply this Way is anchored in me, and that I carry this special time with me forever and can relive it and bring it to life within me at any moment.

Trivial little things in everyday life – enjoying a croissant, hearing a song, or looking through the photo album – immediately awaken memories of all the small and big moments, and each situation assembles itself in vivid colour, like in a kaleidoscope, down to the tiniest detail, bringing a smile or quiet tears to my face by turns.

"This Way is hard & wonderful. It is a challenge and an invitation. It breaks you down and empties you. And it builds you up again. It takes all your strength and gives it back to you threefold." That is how Hape Kerkeling described what he felt after walking the Camino, and I can relate to his words very well.

Gentler with myself

Whereas back then I struggled a lot with the physical demands of the Way, this time the Way often seemed to me like a light, airy and wonderful stroll. Instead, though, I became painfully aware of how much I struggle with myself on the Way – and not least in my life.

So the Way challenged me to face this harshness of mine – it invited me to be gentler with myself.

Admittedly, at some moments this took all my strength, and it was a constant wrestling with myself to show myself in my vulnerability and tenderness and to treat myself gently and more lovingly.

Looking back, though, these are precisely my most important and meaningful moments.

Even so, I probably don't yet have the faintest idea how much this journey has really changed me and allowed me to grow and mature inwardly.

Not finding, but letting go

But I came to realise that it isn't about finding something new, but rather about letting go of the old. Inherited beliefs that aren't my own, old wounds, mental limitations, nagging doubts, deep-seated fears and, not least, the protective walls I had built around myself out of caution over the past years.

Once again the Way held so much more in store for me and taught me precious things … I found wonderful companions and Zen masters, learned to stand up for my needs … to open my heart, again and again … to give myself … unconditionally, and every day anew to marvel at the abundance of life and to treasure the richness of my existence.

I realised that the Camino is ultimately a symbol of all our lives, and that our task is to stay present and awake, looking out for all the signposts, and to trust the flow of life by surrendering to it, in the deep certainty that we are carried … always … at every moment.

And that in the end it is we ourselves who decide whether we live out our wishes or only dream of them!